Saturday, February 03, 2007

February Break

So, I went to the R.E's today.

First off, I was running late. The trains were skipping my stop, so I had to walk to another stop. It wasn't that cold out, so I didn't see the ice on the ground and wound up on my a$$. (It still hurts.) I really didn't want to go at all after that. I envisioned the doctor wondering where that big bruise on my a$$ came from whilst inserting the dildocam. I passed by our synagogue and was jealous that I wasn't going to services. Yes, it was one of those days.

But I managed to get on the train and to the R.E.'s.

There are no special appointments for sonos and bloodwork. Patients just have to show up within a certain 2-hour window. I got there at 11:00. Since the window for Saturday sonos is between 10 and 12, and I always wait a zillion hours anyway, I figured that was fine. (Technically, they always say "come in at 10:30 on Saturday" but it's not like if I get there at 10:30, they see me before noon, and I have the form which says the window on it. So, on the one hand, I wonder if maybe what happened today was my fault. But it really wasn't.)

Well, I waited and waited and waited. I even checked the sign in sheet at one point to make sure I hadn't imagined signing it. Nope, my name was there. Meanwhile, plenty of women had been "revolving-doored" in and out, and more had joined the wait.

It turns out... they forgot about me. Yes, they completely forgot about me.

Apparently, Nurse Poker Face and Nurse Vampire (she's nice, but I only ever see her to give her blood, hence her name) left around 12:30. Forgetting about me!

I was informed by Nurse Thinks-My-Last-Name-Has-a-C-In-It that I had been forgotten, but that Dr. I-Don't-Want-to-Be-Here-on-a-Saturday would take care of me.

Now this was bad. If it had been a come in and check your follie size u/s, whatever. But this was a beginning of cycle u/s. A cycle after I'd taken a month's break. A cycle when I was expecting to have to argue about injectibles. I didn't even know what I was supposed to be doing this cycle. I was screwed.

I actually started crying, which is mortifying, but I did. I so didn't even want to go in today. It took every ounce of willpower to go in for my CD2 sono. I was even passive-aggressive with Lo when I left, saying, "Enjoy your sleep." I was mad that I had to go and get a sono whilst hemorrhaging on a table while she got to sleep in. It was unfair that I was angry at her for not coming with... after all, I hadn't told her I wanted her to. I kept that little nugget to myself, of course. But I really could've used some support.

Especially with what happened. So, I'd been forgotten, which just brought out all the insecurities that hadn't already come up. Why had they forgotten me? Were they being passive-aggresive because I took a month off? Was I being punished for getting there 30 minutes after 10:30? Was I unworthy of getting impregnated?

So, anyway, I have a leftover cyst from my last cycle. Ya know, the one during my break month where we didn't do meds or a trigger. So, I am out this cycle. I have to take Loestrin (yes, birth control pills) and then go back in in 3 weeks to make sure the cyst went away. Now, I've had leftover follies before on my CD2 sono and Dr. Quick never cancelled my cycle over them. In fact, my 3rd IUI cycle was the only cycle when I didn't have leftover follies. So, I don't know what the deal is. Maybe Dr. Quick just never cared about my health. Maybe Dr. I-Don't-Want-to-Be-Here-on-a-Saturday just wanted to get rid of the hysterical problem patient who isn't even his responsibility.

But I still feel like I'm being punished. If I hadn't taken a break, we would've done a trigger shot, and I probably wouldn't have had a leftover follie and we could try this month.

So, our break has been extended.

Maybe I need to find a new R.E.

8 comments:

Sophia said...

bleah what an icky day!

Melody said...

Ugh, that sounds awful. I am so sorry your break got extended. It sucks when a break doesn't happen on your own terms.

I do think it would be worth looking around for another RE-- or at least talking to some other TTCers in your area about their experiences with their REs. You seem to have bad feelings about several of the employees of this practice. That has to be contributing to your stress level each cycle.

fostermama said...

*hugs*

charlotte said...

what a shit ass day. i'm sorry your REs don't seem to give enough explanation...and a forced break is awful. it might be good to check into some other clinics, although most of them seem to have some social skills issues and they all give slightly different info. i just want you to be pregnant so you can be done with this. and i agree with melody that you seem to dislike most of the staff. maybe ask the chicks you know with different REs in the city and see if another clinic sounds better...or don't if it adds to your stress. balls.

Calliope said...

oh goodness - what a shitty day.
I am so sorry about the lame treatment at the RE's AND hearing that yyou have a break inducing cyste is awful. I've had at least 2 cycles where I had to go back to the bench b/c of cysts and I always felt so cheated.
xo

Tamsin said...

How utterly crapola all around.

Enforced breaks are just horrible.

ms.bri said...

Oh, ack. I am sorry you are being forced to have more break time.

I liked my RE a lot, as you know, but Midwood might not be so convenient for you. She doesn't make you do Day 2 u/s, though. I usually only had to have 2 u/s before the IUI. It was a bit easier that way.

Co said...

Bri,

We have a car so getting to Midwood wouldn't be a problem. The problem is your R.E. isn't covered by my insurance, so we'd have to figure out if we could swing it financially if we did it out-of-network.

Thanks.