tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21200500.post6548738638101636858..comments2023-06-10T10:23:32.293-04:00Comments on The Family O: Complications & Jo's MilestonesLohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10507793708832982682noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21200500.post-48972950391621489342008-01-14T17:19:00.000-05:002008-01-14T17:19:00.000-05:00I've been thinking a lot about your mom's driving....I've been thinking a lot about your mom's driving. I guess it's an issue that gets under my skin, I've often had dreams of trying to drive well and not being able to control the car. In one I was driving down a dark street and kept winding up on the curb. My daughter was in the backseat and calmly said "mom, just slow down." I know what this means: try to slow down and be present, stop living in the future or the past.<BR/><BR/>But enough about me...is your mom such a bad driver that she is a threat to herself and other people on the road? If so, maybe some kind of intervention is called for. It could be humiliating perhaps but maybe intimate and loving depending on how it was done. <BR/><BR/>Maybe it would involve challenging a modus operandi that derives from an unwillingness to live in the present moment. (My apologies if <BR/>I am projecting my issues onto your mom, that would be annoying.) From personal experience, I can tell you that things that yank me out of the moment are often disturbing and painful things, fear, worries, humiliations, feelings of inadequacy, guilt, sadness... if any of that is the case, it requires tremendous courage or desperation to wake up.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, I should let you know that these words come from someone too fearful to drive her own kids on the highway, but I'm comfortable enough on these one way streets of Brooklyn. And happier still when we can take the subway.amarillahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06145474039245058818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21200500.post-64891125229451533822008-01-12T17:03:00.000-05:002008-01-12T17:03:00.000-05:00Big hugs over BOTH of the family situations. I'm ...Big hugs over BOTH of the family situations. I'm so, so sorry to hear about your uncle. As far as the Sis-Mom-Lo triangle: blech. What a tough place to be. I would think that there's some way of gently explaining to your mother the concerns over her driving, acknowledging that this doesn't make her any less of a grandmother/person/etc. But that it is of concern and really isn't an issue that you/Sis is willing to compromise on at this point. Still, though, blech. <BR/><BR/>As for the happy, fun stuff in your post, your little guy is just getting cuter every day (I know, how is that possible?). Love the fleeting smile - so easy to see why it would melt your heart :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21200500.post-48129096754826754422008-01-12T15:26:00.000-05:002008-01-12T15:26:00.000-05:00You HAVE to back your sister up on this one. It is...You HAVE to back your sister up on this one. It is NOT about "ganging up" on your mom, but about PROTECTING YOUR CHILDREN. As a mother, it is your FIRST and FOREMOST responsibility to protect your kid, regardless of other people's feelings. You CANNOT sit back and watch on this issue. You have to take a stand, NOW. <BR/><BR/>Would you rather have your mom's feelings hurt, or potentially have to go see him in a PICU or morgue because he was in a really bad crash? Would it be easier to face your mother after telling her no or after she has hurt your child?<BR/><BR/>Think about it...girlrantinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04625968285595671329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21200500.post-27852631991952498012008-01-12T08:56:00.000-05:002008-01-12T08:56:00.000-05:00Has Co never been driven anywhere by your mom? I'm...Has Co never been driven anywhere by your mom? I'm curious her impressions. You saying that your sister is more sensitive to it makes some sense, but it IS really bad. Frequent and severe difficulties staying in her lane on the highway is the one I remember the most vividly.<BR/><BR/>I guess what I'm saying is that I think you should back your sister up, completely. It's not about "ganging up on" your mom. You can both be sensitive to her as you both explain that you don't want your kids driven around by her. You can point out to her that for Jo it won't be a big deal, and that might soften the blow. But I don't think you should compromise your sister's position at all and I also think it'll be to your benefit that she's being forced to deal with this because it's not like it'll *never* come up with Jo.<BR/><BR/>I wonder if it would be at all possible for your mom to learn to drive better.fostermamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09892654110641448023noreply@blogger.com