Generosity

A few days ago, this came in the mail:



This beautiful quilt was handmade for Flipper by J. I am both touched and awed.

Also, here is a picture of the beautiful sweater that Melody made. It is, apparently, her first baby sweater. You bloggers are incredibly gifted, and incredibly generous.



My principal gave me several items of babywear that declare our mutual love for the city we both live in (my school is not in that city). Here's Maggie modeling the bib:



Today at services, our rabbi gave us an etrog left over from Sukkot (an etrog in December is shriveled and sad-looking, below; the picture in the link shows what they are supposed to look like). There's a folktale that if a pregnant woman eats an etrog, she will have a fragrant baby.



Due Date Buddy's parents, who consider themselves Flipper's adopted grandparents, generously sent us several items from our registry, including a baby monitor. I set it up, putting the base in our bedroom where Flipper will be sleeping at first. When I put batteries in the handset, standing in the kitchen, I got some feedback as though I were standing to close to the base unit. If you have seen our apartment this will not surprise you. (But seriously, it will be nice to have a monitor in case we ever do want to let him sleep and actually leave the room.)

My mother, who is not unlike me, called last night....just to check. Heh.

(This post counts for Thankful Friday.)

Asterisks

*No bullet points from me. Bullets are violent, and make me think of Crash, which I just saw the beginning of again because a colleague is using it in his Race and Ethnicity in American Cinema seminar (my school is almost as cool as that makes it sound).

(Also, I don't know the code. But really, I like asterisks better.)

*I spoke to my dad yesterday, and he said he is going to be in Germany from December 8-18. I have been feeling pretty soft on my dad recently since he gave me this for my birthday. But, um, what?? (He does travel a lot for business, but this is pleasure.) He has not been terrifically involved with my nephew, but I worry that this is because Flipper is a 2nd grandchild....and/or because he is not biologically related to my dad.

He sees Nephew S. fairly frequently, but only because one of my stepmother's sons happens to live nearby my sister; when they're in that neck of the woods to see her grandchildren, they stop by to see S. There is no reason for my stepmother to want to come to our neck of the woods. (She's not mean...she's just emotionally blunted. If I were ever to point out to her that she makes sure her own family is taken care of and neglects my dad's, she would point out -- accurately -- that his family is his job. She doesn't have the emotional insight to see that he is the type of man who lets women take care of family [my mom is still closer to many of his family members than he is] and that since she had an affair with him while he was married to my mom and my sister and I were old enough to know about it, it is in everyone's interests for her to play a role in keeping the family together.)

*More entertainingly: yesterday, the kids (my students) were asking about Flipper, and one of them asked if he will be white. I replied that my partner was white. This, of course, begged an obvious question; Little Miss Sophisticate, the fashion plate of my homeroom, asked, "Do you know the sperm donor?" Wow. I said, "Uh, no, it was a mail order thing." She nodded knowingly. Holy crap, I don't think I could have said the word "sperm" in front of an adult when I was 12.

Today, in the other homeroom, one of the kids asked, "Does the baby have a father?" I was more prepared this time, and I answered that, of course, you know it takes a man and a woman to make a baby, but we don't know the man, and the baby won't know the man (well, when he's 18 he can, but I digress, and I didn't with the kids). The student looked a little confused, and I said something about how you can just order it. I guess this made sense to him. Ironically, it is perhaps a bit easier to discuss than, you know, that other way babies are made.

*And on that note: at my shower the other day, a colleague with two adopted children said that two years ago, her then-sixth grader came home and said, "Mom, you and Dad are lucky you didn't have to do you-know to get us." Um. Yeah.

*Finally: I started the Stone Age today. (Quick, say Australopithecus afarensis five times fast!) I have turned everything over to my replacement. Any day now, boy...

Showered

(Yes, I stole this post title from another blog. but I can't remember which one. I think it was Possible Maybe.)

Here's Co's belly at 39 weeks. To me, she looks pretty big, but most folks don't believe she's due in a week:



Charlotte wants updates. The warm fuzzy update is that my job had a shower for me today. It was really fun and I was extremely touched. There was a cake with blue writing and plastic footballs, and they invited Co to come (to my surprise! it was all a surprise!) and everyone admired her belly. They made a betting pool for when she'd give birth.

No significant changes here, however. Yesterday's midwife visit went well but there are no indicators of when Flipper will be joining us.

I am feeling increasingly ready. (Yes, I'm impatient, but that's not necessarily the same as ready...) Our bags are partially packed, and I picked up supplies like arnica, lip balm, Luna bars, Gatorade. We have everything we need for labor, and for Flipper. We set up the P n' P where he'll sleep. Yesterday we went to a local crunchy baby store and The Sling Lady helped us try some on; we were please to find that we felt comfortable with the Maya wrap, and it fits us both. Tomorrow I start the next unit with my kids, the one I want to be able to start off before I go.

So whenever you're ready, little guy...

Dream Interpretation

A couple nights ago, I dreamed that I was swimming in canals with Maggie, the dachshund. It was sort of like we were in Venice. I got ahead of Maggie at one point and realized I was being chased by a shark. (Now, I love sharks and don't fear them really, but whatever...) I managed to get out and was yelling for Maggie to hurry up and waiting for her to come by so I could snatch her, but she couldn't out-doggie-paddle the shark and it ate her. So, I had to use rod and reel to catch the shark and open its belly, and rescue Maggie, who was fine if annoyed, kind of a la the woodsman in Little Red Riding Hood.

Okay, I think there are many ways in which this dream can be interpreted as a generalized impending birth anxiety dream.

So, there you have it. A not very enlightening post from Co.

And no, Lo, I'm *not* in labor yet.

My Wife Is Leaking

That is all.

Did Kafka Ever Change His Name?

We spent the day standing on neverending lines at Social Security and the DMV, in order to finally change our names. Exhausting, but now complete.

Any advice on where to change them next (and in what order) is welcome.

We did have lunch at Junior's. Yum.

Thanksgiving, with Due Date Buddy's family, was fun and full of big bellies.

Sending Love

People who deserve so much better are having a hard time. Go give them some love.

Teenagers, Gender, and Impatience

When I come home right after work (I'm a teacher), I share the subway with hordes of middle and high school students making their commute. Overheard today: "Every time you see a rainbow, God is having gay sex."

Huh.

At my latest Hebrew tutoring gig this evening, a group of sixth graders, one of my students was fondling her cell phone. After a few minutes I realized she was continually texting while she was working. I asked her who she was texting. I was pretty much assuming it was, you know, her BFF Jill (the first time she texted I thought maybe it was her mom...but not when it became constant). She smiled sweetly at me and replied, "My boyfriend."

Oh.

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My great-aunt told me she is working on an afghan for Flipper. I was very touched by this, especially since neither Co nor I have any living grandparents, so she is one of a very few links to that generation. She made us a gorgeous afghan for our wedding. A few days ago she emailed me to check on the due date. I replied that he was due Dec. 6, and she wrote back, "Oh, no! I thought it was a girl! I'll have to start over!" (Apparently she had begun a pink afghan.) I assured her that we absolutely do not mind a pink afghan.

My mom called tonight because my great-aunt is still, apparently, extremely worried about giving Flipper a pink afghan. Together they came up with a workable plan that alternates blue and pink; through mom, I sent the okay for this.

I can't imagine why she thought Flipper was a girl; I've sent her at least two emails specifying that he was a boy. Great-Aunt made a blue, pink, and white afghan for Nephew S. because she wasn't sure of his sex (though my sister did tell). So why did she assume the *wrong* sex for Flipper?

Co thinks maybe she figured that since we're lesbians, it had to be a girl. Where would the Y chromosome come from?

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I vacillate between wanting a little more time before Flipper's birth, and being impatient to meet him. I do want to get my students a little farther; I want to be the one to start the Stone Age unit; really, there is *no one* else who gets excited about early hominids the way I do. The good news is that my replacement is lined up (she currently works as a paraprofessional in my classroom) and it's been approved that I can use my buttload of accumulated sick days to take off about two months to stay home with Co and Flipper.

The arrivals from our childbirth class add to my impatience, though their due dates were all significantly before ours. The three couples left are all December dates.

Of course, I have no control over the situation, and in reality we probably have *at least* two weeks to go. Probably more like three or four. So my sense that he could come any day is misplaced.

I just can't wait to see what this little guy looks like and hold him in my arms.

Moments: Funny & Touching

I have a student with Asperger's Syndrome in my class. He is high-functioning and good-natured (as opposed to the student with the syndrome I taught last year, who was cranky and obstinate; different facets of the spectrum). His major trigger is when things get chaotic, which they did at lunchtime yesterday. He fled the room in tears, and I went after him. I checked a few of his typical retreats, and not finding him, I gathered he'd gone to the bathroom. When I went into the office, the office manager/guidance counselor/basketball coach (that "title" speaks volumes about our school!) wasn't at his desk. I gasped out, "I need a man!"

The director and assistant director burst out laughing and both responded, "I never thought I'd hear you say that!"

(The child was located and calmed quickly.)

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This morning's Shabbat services at my shul included the Bat Mitzvah of the daughter of two women. Our congregation has no lack of queer parents, but the children tend to be significantly younger. Indeed, it was the only the congregation's second queer Bar/Bat Mitzvah. And charmingly, it was quite like every other such event I've attended...overdressed relatives, and giggling overdressed teenagers (I suppose, when you are 13, where else can you wear elbow-length knitted multicolored gloves?).

This is the third week in a row I've made it to Saturday morning services. A friend teased me, "Oh, upping synagogue attendance around a simcha! (happy event)" and sure, that's part of it. Another part of it is that since our trip for my nephew's first birthday, we've really cleared our schedules. I am enjoying the calm, and the opportunity to strengthen my religious commitment, that has resulted.

Hospital Packing Advice

So, obsessive organizer that I am, I'm making up our hospital packing list. Here's what I have, put together from childbirth class and my pregnancy planner. Any advice? Items you found invaluable?? Please read desperate annotations.

--pillows
--hot/cold pack
--snacks (what kind??)
--flexi-straws, cup with straw
--lip balm, preggie pops
--camera!!!
--my phone book
--money for vending machine
--reading material for Co (I'm assuming this suggestion is for afterwards??)
--comfy going home outfit for Co
--several nightgowns
--robe and slippers
--nursing bras
--3-4 pairs of underwear
--toiletries for both of us
--my bathing suit
--change of clothes for me
--phone & charger
--diapers (they don't give you diapers??)
--nail clippers
--blankets (for Flipper)
--clothing for Flipper (how much??)

Thanks, people. Holy crap, we are having a baby.

Nervous

What does nausea mean? You know, at like, 37 weeks? Which is full term?

The Adorable Z.

Here she is...my precious little "niece" Z!

Running with Maggie in our across-the-street park (yes, Maggie is the green tube sock):



Rolling in the leaves, also in the park:



And I saved the cutest for last -- Z. plays the "paw game" with Maggie:

Random Thoughts Roundup

Here is one way I know I am old: while "station-surfing" in the car, I am more apt to land on the station with "Fresh" in the title, or even the one that bills itself as an Oldies station, than the one with "Z" in its name. Sigh.

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My best friend from college, A., (the blog is her wife's) visited this weekend with her delicious 2 1/2 year old daughter Z. Z. was taken with Maggie (she lives with two much larger dogs, so I think Maggie's diminutive size was the hook) and spent much of the visit attending to her: moving her bed around, including putting it up on the futon, bringing her treats, and nuzzling her. It was extraordinarily cute.

Co took the camera with her to Due Date Buddy's shower, but A. got some awesome (and, because they don't show the face, bloggable) pix. I'll put them up when I get them emailed (ahem).

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My mom has secured a subletted room in our neighborhood so she can be on hand to see, and help out with, Flipper. She has it pretty much through the month of December, and then can likely use the place for a few days here and there. She's been very involved with my nephew, since she and my sister live ten minutes from each other, and I'm touched that she is being so proactive about being involved with Flipper as well.

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Co and I both anticipated (before Nephew S. was born) that it would cut us to the quick when people made comments about how much Nephew S. looks like "the family." Now that this is a reality -- he looks just like my sister as a baby, and therefore, just like my father as a baby -- it doesn't bother either of us in the slightest. I love how much S. looks like my family, but I am not at all bothered that Flipper will not. I know that he will be fully accepted into my family regardless...my dad is obsessed with familial connections (he brought pictures of himself as a baby to S's first birthday party, as my sister requested, and actually took pictures of S. with the pictures propped up next to him) but I still think he'll be loving with Flipper. and my mom? Well, as I said, she's already rented her room.

A Little Friday Humor

Co has begun to organize some music for labor CDs (a process kick-started by our meeting with our doula yesterday). She downloaded some special music, like the theme song from the T.V. show Flipper....and a song by this guy called "Le Sorcier Du Flipper."

Yes, people, that's "Pinball Wizard" in French. It is too, too funny, even if you are not a francophile. And I am.

(For our other child, she downloaded his version of "Maggy May.")

A Question

I am trying to think of more than one question so I can couch this one, but what the heck. I am going to go ahead and post about lochia:

what kind of post-partum pads do we need? Are regular old sanitary napkins enough or do we need something special?

Thank you for playing.

Pregnancy Update

Co is doing well. Just a few days ago she noticed that her feet are starting to swell. And she has bouts of feeling as though a human being were trying to claw his way out through her pelvic floor. But such is pregnancy. Honestly, I hope hers continues to be this uneventful. Knock wood.

She is working on a major deadline, and on occasion staying up after I go to bed. She came to bed one night this weekend at 3 in the morning, and whispered to me, "I'm not even tired! I have all this energy! Is that normal?" I responded, "Yes. You're supposed to be using it to nest!!"

But in fact, earning money is her way of nesting, and a valid one at that. Besides, I am nesting enough for the both of us. I bought baby detergent this weekend. I am in my glory.

In other news: due to superstition we are not having a shower. We are both okay with this, but (I at least) have pangs when I see others getting the attention and, it must be said, the loot, while I scramble around picking up free diapers off cr*igslist. I have set up registries, and I hope that after Flipper is born, people will, well, use them. (Which is SO IN NO WAY AIMED AT ANY OF YOU; this is my venting space, so there I am, venting.)

But one thing about not having a shower: when people give us baby gifts I am literally bowled over and brought to tears. It is touching enough when we receive hand-me-downs from my sister, and loving blogger friends, and even random cr*igslist strangers. So far we have received a womb sounds bear and a set of baby music CDs from my colleagues, and today we got in the mail the most beautiful hand-made sweater from an awesome blogger. We will post a picture. It is gorgeous.

P.S. The dresser in my last post is from this site. Their thematic furniture/linens collection (listed on left of screen) are mostly gendered (Boys Like Trucks??), but a few of them are fun are useful for both genders.

Make Room for Flipper

Today, at long last, was our handyman appointment. (Actually, the original handyman cancelled, and I called people from cr*igslist ads until I found someone with availability today. I have been waiting too long!!)

So, we played what Co calls "Flipper Tetris" and moved things around so that a) we could set up Flipper's dresser/changing table, and b) made space for his P*ck N' Pl*y in our bedroom. We actually ordered it, along with some sheets, B*rt's B**s baby products, newborn wipes, and a baby healthcare kit...the entire order was virtually free thanks to some gift certificates we earned with our credit card. I am a big fan of such programs.


I also went to the grocery store for baby laundry detergent, so now I can officially start the fun part of nesting: bringing stuff up from the basement and setting up Flipper's little area. I'm superstitious about doing it, but I am also dying to do it.

So here is Flipper's dresser, perfect for our little dolphin boy. It's a gift from my mom. (My dad gave us the giant stuffed dolphin.)

Because Oneofhismoms wants to know...

I saw this meme on several blogs, but I figured nobody cared what I have read. (Okay, I admit I created the "What Lo's Reading" link; I figure books sometimes spark conversation, and indeed they have. But what I have read in the past?)

But now I have been tagged, sort of, so here you go.

The Instructions:
1. Bold what you have read.
2. Italicize those you started but couldn’t finish.
3. Strike through what you couldn’t stand.
4. Add an asterisk to those you’ve read more than once.
5. Underline those on your to-read list.
6. ? for can’t remember if I ever tried to read it or not.

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Anna Karenina
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights*
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi: a novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Ulysses (I read one chapter in a high school class)
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
A Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler’s Wife
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran: a Memoir in Books
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked: the life and times of the wicked witch of the West* (I read the sequel too)
The Canterbury Tales
The Historian: A Novel
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Love in the Time of Cholera
Brave New World
The Fountainhead
Foucault’s Pendulum
Middlemarch
Frankenstein
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula
A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible: A Novel
1984
Angels & Demons
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
A Tree Grows In Brooklyn*
Oliver Twist
Gulliver’s Travels
Les Misérables
The Corrections
The Amazing adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time (This is on my list to read, but I don't know how to underline)
Dune
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
Angela’s Ashes: A Memoir
The God of Small Things
A People’s History of the United States : 1492-present (I used parts of it when I taught American History, but I have never read it all the way through)
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved
Slaughterhouse-Five
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake: a novel
Collapse : How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics : a Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : an Inquiry into Values*
The Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
The Hobbit
White Teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers

More Good News!

Click on over here to meet baby Hudson!!

Friends for Flipper!

Check out the excellent news here and here!

Quotables

My student: "Did your wife have the baby yet?"

(I have never actually used the word wife with them; I said partner.)

Co: "I can feel both of my children, one through my abdomen, and one through my ass."

[Maggie likes to sit behind her while she works, between her butt and the back of the chair.]

Bio-Moms, Take Note

A month or two ago, Co ordered a maternity/nursing nightgown. When it came, there was a teeny matching onesie that came along with it. Co thought it was cheesy; she'd actually avoided the nighties that advertised this option, and thought this one didn't have the onesie. I thought it was precious and exclaimed over how cute it was and how delighted I was that she'd made the mistake and I couldn't wait to take their picture together.

For my birthday, Co gave me a nightie with a matching onesie for Flipper. And, it turns out, it wasn't easy. There are lots of mother-daughter and father-son outfits, she told me, but mother-son doesn't exist, and mother-gender neutral is hard to come by. But she found one.

Because, she told me, I'm the mother, too.

Is she best or is she the best??

Counting Down

I am now 33, the age I will be when Flipper is born.
Next time I see my family (my mom, my dad, my sister) it will be because Flipper has been born.
Next time we change the Brita filter, we will have a newborn (or knowing us, perhaps a toddler...).

Grover Friday

Here is our contribution to the Grover party, thanks to an old S*same Street book where he is still featured prominently:



And in the spirit of cheer, here is a funny meme from Sophia (I omitted some of the categories because of my low-profile on the blog):

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car): Rainbow Saturn

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie): Coffee Chocolate Chip

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal): Purple Dog

4. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink): The Blue Coffee

5. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers): Joseph Lloyd

6. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy): Lavender Dark Chocolate

7. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ): Ruth Norman

8. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): Skende Seattle or Katteff Kansas City (I had two fifth grade teachers)

9. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower): Autumn Lilac

10. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”): Grapefruit Shirtie

11. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree): Oatmeal Weeping Willow

12. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”): The Reading Snow Tour

Accomplishment! & Our Weekend

First off, if you haven't already done so on this blog or another, please read Cali's story (at her blog or someone else's) and donate to help. I would not ordinarily donate -- let alone ask someone else to -- for another's IVF, but this is an extreme situation, and an extremely amazing person. Cali is a rockstar in the blogosphere, because she is one of the kindest, most generous, authentically caring people I have ever come across. (To wit: she is in this heartbreaking situation in part because she was trying to donate her own eggs to help another woman realize her dream.)

In other news:
We chose a pediatrician (which means I got to strike through the first item on our to do list on the sidebar). She was recommended to us by the ever-helpful LaGiulia, and we really feel good about her. PHEW. Now we don't have to sneak Flipper in to the vet's office.


We went up north for Nephew S's first birthday party this weekend. At one, his new skills include eating by himself (rather than being fed) and standing (though not quite walking). The party was a lovely event; my parents in the same room is always a risky proposition, but they both behaved beautifully. Since we won't see them again until Flipper is here (gulp), my dad gave us a ginormous stuffed dolphin that will be perfect for taking growth pictures of Flipper. (I'd post a picture, but we have yet to shlep him in from the car.) My mom gave me a copy of Confessions of the Other Mother.


We gave S. a drum, which he seems to like. Though he will drum on just about anything...

We also got a chance to peek in on Jude, Jen, & Gus. She has grown so much since we last saw her! (In August)




We arrived home a little late to see many bloggers at the local meet-up, but touched base with a few. These cuties are Pepito and Beckett, two of the cutest little tykes you ever did see.

Please, Please Do What You Can

I don't have a lot of words today, so I'll make this short:

Please go here and here to read Cali's story. And then go here to help her. I don't know anyone who deserves it more.

Latest Stats and the Case of the Haunted Breast Pump

So, I had another MW appointment today. They have a nursing student interning with them for the next month or so, so I got to watch a very green, very enthusiastic prospective future MW in action. I was asked if I minded her sitting in and doing some of my exam, and I didn't mind. I never minded having student teachers sit in my classroom either. Prospective whoevers have to learn somehow.

So, my latest stats...
Weight gain in past 2 weeks: 2 lb
Total weight gain so far: 25 lb
BP: 110/68 (lower than last time's 124/68 which I'm sure was exacerbated by my sobbing episode)
Fundal height: 34 cm
Flipper's HB: 160 (I suspect it was on the higher side because he was showing off his Donald O'C*nnor-inspired dance moves)

I found out that the mysterious pain on my upper right side, which is sometimes in the front, sometimes in the back, is probably just because my rib cage is expanding and some muscles might be irritated. Or else, it's a chain reaction of Flipper pressing up on my uterus, pressing up on my liver, or something like that. Nothing to be alarmed about. Just another one of those things.

And one of my neighbors, H., noticed for the first time today that I'm pg. When I confirmed it, another neighbor, J., with whom I'd been talking for about 5 minutes, said, "Really? I had no idea." I am totally showing now--8 months pg and all--but yup, people are still just noticing.

It turns out that H. is a doula and teaches hypnobirthing, so she asked me about where I was taking childbirth classes and delivering. I think it's funny that a doula/childbirth educator JUST noticed I was pg. I see her several times a week at least. It's funny that I've never asked her about her career before, too.

My neighbor, J., said something really sweet, about how she feels like a child can really solidify a couple's relationship and she thinks it's great that Flipper will have 2 loving mommies. J. has an adorable son of her own, who likes to open doors for me and Lo (that is, he likes to ask us for our keys and literally open the doors for us with the keys). He also is a big Maggie fan. Who isn't?

In other news, our car got sideswiped a little while ago on the highway and the jerk in the truck who sideswiped Lo drove off, without pulling over to fill out an accident report or exchange insurance or anything. The damage was substantial enough that it needed to be fixed--not some little ding or dent. So, we reported it to our insurance company and are using our collision coverage to pay for it. I wondered if I'd been stupid to report it to my insurance. Maybe the total damage would be $500 or less--equal to my deductible--and then I'd have wasted my time and alerted my insurance to a reason to raise my rates for no good reason. But it's less irritating now that I know how costly the damage was. The repairs will come to almost $1500. After our $500 deductible, that's almost $1000 that our insurance is kicking in. I know this could mean our insurance rates will go up, but I've been a loyal customer with this company, with no accidents (knock wood), for 7 years now, so I am glad that I don't have to cough up that extra $1000 myself.

The collision described above happened when Lo was driving home from buying our haunted, used breast pump. I guess the car gods looked down on us and said, "So, you want to save yourselves $150 by buying a used breast pump, huh? Let's just see how expensive we can make that pump for you!" So, yes, saving $150 is now going to cost us our $500 deductible plus having to rent a car this weekend to go to the party celebrating our nephew's first birthday and Lo's mother's 65th birthday, which is in a location several states away. Our insurance company *will* reimburse us a bit for the cost of renting a car while ours is being repaired, but I think it's still going to cost us about $165 to rent the car over the weekend, even after the reimbursement, since we're driving it so far and we're going to have to make up the difference added by the mileage and such. (And no, kenneling the dog + taking train/bus would be equally or more expensive than renting a car, so that's not a good solution.) Stupid, haunted breast pump!

MW Appointment

I can't believe I have another MW appointment on Wednesday. I feel like I just had a MW appointment, because... um... I did.

I have one every 2 weeks these days. I can feel that EDD coming up on us fast and furious.

Lists

As Co explained, we have a lot to do. As you all explained, we may not finish it all before Flip is born. But I just want to point out how much we HAVE done:
--Doula selected and deposit mailed in
--Childbirth class has just two classes left
--Pediatrician interviews scheduled (We made one interview with a doctor we think we'll like, and then a backup appointment we hope not to have to keep; the practice of pediatrician #1 was recommended by trustworthy local bloggers)
--Names legally changed
--Lawyer chosen, and wills drafted
--Co's new desk ordered
--Car repair scheduled for this week

Here is what we would like to get done before Flipper joins us:
--Names changed at least with Social Security (Co is concerned with getting his right name on the birth certificate; there's a local SS office with late hours so we should at least be able to get the application in)
--Wills signed (We just need to go over the draft and contact lawyer)
--Call super to do minor home repairs
--Get handy-person to move some furniture around
--It would be great to schedule a 1st home study and start gathering 2nd parent adoption documentation

The hospital tour may not happen, unless Co decides as we get closer that she'd really like to see it. I feel like we'll be able to find the place.

We have everything we would like to have for Flipper's arrival except for his bed/P*ck N' Pl*y, which we plan to order at 36 weeks just so we're fully prepared. I guess we should get some swaddling blankets too (we have regular blankets). (Everything else we can just hope we get as gifts :-)

I'm tempted to put this list on our sidebar and cross out the obstacles as we overcome them. Anyone want to email me code for strikethrough?

MW Appointment and Me Being Whiny

So, I had another MW appointment... with MW Apple.

Flipper's HB is good: 130.
My BP is fine--higher than usual, but not high.
My fundal height was right on target.
My weight gain was fine: 3 lb in 5 wks which brings me to 23 lb (although it was really 4 lb and she let me subtract 1 lb for my shoes)
Flipper is head-down, which is great. I'm not really surprised, because I don't see how he could keep kicking my ribs like he enjoys doing if he's not head-down. But, still, a huge relief.

Of course, despite all this, I spent the first 20 minutes of my appointment sobbing uncontrollably. I hope that midwives, like R.E.'s, are not thrown by this kind of emotional display.

MW Apple was very nice about the whole thing. I am just a big ball of stress. I was feeling very overscheduled. There just seemed like so much stuff that needed to get done FAST... medical appointments (MW and endocrinologist), doula interviews, childbirth education classes, pediatrician interviews, a hospital tour, finalizing our name changes, scheduling a home study, signing our wills... Some of that stuff we've finished recently or at least started, and the rest still needs to be done. We also needed to buy me a new, very small work desk so we can move my work station to our living room/dining room so our current home office can begin metamorphosing into Flipper's room (not that it's totally becoming a nursery yet... we just don't have room and he'll be sleeping in our bedroom at first anyway). We need to make some home repairs and car repairs. Meanwhile, I have tight work deadlines, am dealing with new work software that is needlessly driving me nuts, and am *hoping* I earn enough to afford me a 3-month maternity leave, but we'll see. I also really need to finish reading a couple of parenting books before Flip gets here, too.

Difficulty sleeping hasn't helped. Leg cramps, backaches, and anxiety have all been making it hard to sleep through the night, and that hasn't been making me feel better.

I've been taking long walks every day with the dog. Exercise and eating well are probably the only good things I'm doing these days.

So, anyway, this is the most boring and whiny post ever, but ... I've just been feeling like there isn't enough time in the world to get everything done that needs to get done. And feeling that way isn't helping me focus and make progress toward getting it done either.

But, since that appointment, I've been feeling better. Lo and I hammered out some compromises so I don't feel so overwhelmed, and that helps. I am also trying very hard to limit unnecessary social activities ... kind of taking the attitude that if something CAN give in my life, I should let it give because I can.

Anyway, that's what's been up with me.

Midnight Fetus Party

Last night I was up in the wee hours worrying about all those things that keep you up in the wee hours. I was lying with my arm around Co, hand on her belly (as has become my habit). And I felt Flipper kicking! I whispered Co's name, but she was asleep.

So, Flipper and I had some private time, while he kicked and rolled around, before I finally fell back asleep.

On the Upswing

This has been a stressful week for several reasons, but it's over now, and I'm enjoying the long weekend.

The good news: I went back to court, and our name change is official!! Thanks to JT for this site so we can get to work on the laundry list of places to change it.

And: I am godmother to a hedgehog. Does it get any better than that?

Famine

Okay, thanks for the advice, although Lo is the one who asked for it.

If you have a response to the original question--what must-have items do we need in our apartment from day 1--and haven't yet commented, please do. Otherwise, it seems like the comments are beginning to venture off on tangents. And some of them have wigged me out a bit.

I am not a multi-tasker. That's Lo. I like to take on one major life thing at a time. Right now, I am mostly focused on preparing for childbirth and earning enough money to have the luxury of a 3-month maternity leave. Lo is focused on getting our home Flipper ready. So, see, that's where we're at.

I will get to breastfeeding, I promise, and I will do so before too long. You don't need to remind me that time is running out. Goshdurned ticker!!!! How it mocks me!!!

In the meantime, please don't go on about breastfeeding to me until I ask... especially if what you want to say could be perceived as scary by a hormonal, stressed-out host organism with a creature living inside her who is currently trying to kick his way up through her rib cage. Wrong direction, little guy. You'll figure it out eventually, I hope.

Feast

This Saturday we went to Co's hometown, where her brother still lives, to meet up with him and his wife and go to the local Italian-American festival. It was a late celebration of his birthday and he wanted us (me, really) to experience the amazing Italian food in the area. Now, it was really, really good; but I was nonetheless amused that virtually every booth declared its quality to be the same as the city where we live. And had just driven 90 minutes away from to attend this festival.

I feasted upon (now, keep in mind this was over five or six hours): sausage and peppers, tomato salad, rice balls, clam strips, cannoli, plus we shared a pizza fritta (fried dough with tomato sauce and parmesan cheese), a bloomin' onion, and mushrooms stuffed with crabmeat. Yum.

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The other feast in my life is my baby bargains. Co eluded to my cr*igslist addiction, but didn't fully explain its scope. I now regularly stalk the list in three different cities (I have willing friends/family in two others besides my own). I have picked up the aforementioned breast pump ($100 for this, people), a nursing pillow for $5 on the street, and tomorrow's pickups: this swing for $25 and a h**ter hider for $5. It's become an obsession. I'm not much of a clothes horse, so I have never enjoyed the hunt for clothing bargains. But now? I get it. We have registries, and I take delight in removing items as I get them for free or cheap.

Recently I realized, looking at all the toddler toy/clothing posts on cr*igslist, that this doesn't have to stop with baby gear. That put a smile on my face.

***Interactive feature: what items would you recommend we *must* have in the house for Flipper's arrival? (Include the smallest things, like pacifiers, bottles...I know we need dipes and wipes!) We're not having a shower, due to the complementary superstitions of our respective cultures, but I don't mind leaving a few items on the registry for baby gifts once he is here, safe and sound.

Photo Friday: Fingers

So this is probably one of our weirdest Photo Friday endeavours. (Well. Maybe not if you consider the dog in the bra shot.)

I set out to take a picture of finger puppets, showcasing both Co's and my fingers. The puppets are mine from childhood; in the apartment I lived in as a toddler, I am told, I used the kitchen pass-through as a stage for my finger puppets.

Then Maggie jumped up on the futon and became a part of the shoot. So I present to you Ernie, Grover, and Maggie Mae:



(I'm got Ernie on my finger, and you can see my misshapen thumb. "Hammer thumbs" remains the top search term on this blog, so here you go, finger voyeurs, another reference and another peek. Yeah, we're lesbians who made a baby, but what's the real freak show? My thumbs!!!)

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Last week, the Photo Friday theme was buttons, and Co commented that she was surprised I hadn't participated. "You love buttons," she pointed out. Um, I do? I replied.

Oh. THOSE buttons.

Yeah, I have a pretty extensive button collection. Somehow I didn't make the cognitive leap. Here are some highlights:

A little 80s humor:



Old political buttons. The one on the left has taken on a whole new meaning. I'm curious to see if anyone recognizes the one on the right:



And just for laughs:

Overwhelmed

Disclaimer: This post is about me feeling overwhelmed. I am a little afraid some of you will read it and think I am unworthy of my wonderful Flipper or ungrateful for my pregnancy. That's not it. I'm just overwhelmed and thought I might feel better if I got it all out there. I am very happy to be pregnant. I am very happy that it's been as smooth as it has. And I can't wait to meet my son. But right now, I am crying and I have a lot of work to do and I just want to exorcise these feelings so I can do what I need to do today. So, here it is.

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I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed these days. We're at 30 weeks and there's so much we're doing and still so much we need to do before Flipper comes. We met with some labor support doulas and picked one. We've done our name changes--now it's just a matter of dropping off one final affidavit at the courthouse and it'll be official. We're about halfway through our childbirth education class, which some nights leaves me feeling slightly more prepared and other nights leaves me feeling like a hopeless wreck who is never going to be able to deliver and care for a baby. My midwife appointments are about to start becoming more frequent. We need to rearrange furniture so we can fit a bassinet/pack'n'play and changing table/dresser (which arrives today) in our 700-square-foot apartment. We have two consultations scheduled with pediatricians. We need to schedule a tour of the hospital where we'll be delivering. Lo has been crazily hunting down cheap baby buys for us on Craigslist.

On the flip side, I have work to do and have been having a hard time working to my previous levels. At a certain point, my back starts hurting too much to continue sitting in a chair and I have to lay down. I get tired more easily. I am more distractible than I am normally. And I am already feeling a little sad that this pregnancy is almost over. It's kind of hitting me that this is my one and only pregnancy and I'm trying to enjoy it. But I think I am going to miss the experience. It makes me a little sad that I didn't allow myself to enjoy it until fairly recently. I didn't breathe a sigh of relief until I hit the 2nd tri really. So, I kind of feel like it went too fast and like those first 14 weeks weren't really part of it somehow... that they were just part of the stressful TTC period because I spent them waiting for the floor to give out beneath me. And now, suddenly, it's almost over.

There's also all that other life stuff that creeps up--traveling to visit relatives, fixing our car which got sideswiped on the highway by a truck that didn't bother to pull over, and dealing with some apartment repairs that need to get done before Flipper arrives.

I have hit a point at which I really just don't want to schedule anything else if it could possibly make me crazy. I just don't want to run myself ragged. And I know that this is a bad attitude to have. Once Flipper comes, looking back on this last tri will probably make me laugh at it's cake-walkiness. I know once Flip comes I will be running on empty a lot of the time. But I feel like it'll be different. It won't be me going nuts trying to keep appointments or pick out furniture or prepare for Flip in some abstract way. I think once Flip is here, it'll be time spent with him and it'll just be different. But I obviously don't really know.

I am also just feeling oversensitive and unappreciated and pretty damn useless. I have nothing in my checking account right now and paid my estimated taxes this month using a credit card. It's not because I haven't *earned* money, mind you. I have. I just haven't gotten the check for it yet. The cash flow fun of being self-employed! It makes all those things, like paying to fix our car or repairing our apartment or buying baby furniture, so much more fun.

I am feeling sad that I will not be getting much support from my family once Flip is here. That's not because my family doesn't love me. They've been very supportive and my Aunt Ro (really my dad's first cousin's wife, so she's not technically my aunt) even wants to throw us a *baby shower* after Flip is born. But the reality is... I only have one close living relative... my brother. I have no real uncles or aunts and no first cousins. My brother will be loving to his new nephew, and is talking about driving here to meet him as soon as he's born. But he has never set foot in my city the whole time I've lived here so I'm not counting on that actually happening. My brother is an alcoholic with his own problems. My parents are long dead, so my mom won't be coming to help with the baby. If I go to 42 weeks, there is actually a chance that Flip will be born on my mom's birthday. I really hope Flip doesn't end up sharing a birthday with my mom. That would just make me sad, I think.

I'm just stressed and overwhelmed, I guess, and terrified of what kind of mom I'll be.

Kid Quote of the Day

"We did a lot of learning today!"
--J.B.

And no, you can't have them, they are MY seventh graders. (After last year's slugs I deserve this. I assure you. Also come January I fear they will not be this cute.)

Last Minute Advice on Doulas

We have our first meeting with a potential doula tomorrow afternoon. What should we ask?? (My pregnancy organizer does not have a checklist of doula questions. I am at sea.)

(Scroll down for deeper post.)

Being A Lesbian Teacher

Before I begin my ruminations, I must share today's kid quote of the day. It is more of an anecdote. During Community Service period today, we were encouraging small groups of students to come up with community service projects that were appropriate for a variety of communities: their school, town, country, and the world. One group was brainstorming countries that "needed help." One girl suggested that Iran was a "poor country." I said, "Okay, so what do you think they would need help with? What do they need?" She thought a moment, then said, "Weapons?" The others agreed.

Yes, folks. My kids want their community service to be providing weapons to Iran.

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I am an English teacher. (Actually, I am a Humanities teacher, which means I teach both Social Studies and English; but in my heart, I am an English teacher. That dichotomy is a whole other story.) Anyone out there who is an English teacher, or an elementary school teacher, or has been anywhere near a school lately, probably knows about the Workshop Model. Many people have written about the Workshop Model by now, though it is often attributed to Lucy C@alkins/Te*cher's College (though I prefer it as articulated by Nancie Atw*ll). In brief: this model requires that you teach "minilessons" (anything more than 15 minutes of direct instruction is verboten in many schools) and then the children have reading/writing workshop time where they pursue their own interests in said subjects.

At the school where I work now this actually works reasonably well (how this worked in classes of 30+ kids who had never been allowed up from their desks before, and who generally had trouble getting through a class period without drawing blood, is the subject of perhaps an entirely other blog).

A feature of this approach is the highly confessional teacher. I suppose it's not required, but all of the examples I have seen (both in books and from staff developers) involve a lot of showing your own process as a reader and writer, which involves sharing a lot of information about your life. In general, this doesn't bother me. In fact, in many ways I am an ideal person to model "reading" and "writing" habits because I am passionate about both enterprises. I really do keep a writing journal, my 28th in a long line of battered composition books dating back to the 6th grade. I really do read voraciously, and write compulsively.

But...and I imagine some of you know where I'm going here...it's hard to be completely honest. The women (and it is almost invariably women) who have served as my models (in books and in person) talk frequently about their families. They put pictures of their kids on their decorated journals (because your journal has to be decorated, you know; I think this is a fun exercise for kids, but I'll be damned if I'm doing anything to mine beyond my traditional coloring-in of the white parts of the marble). I regularly have to cut off whole sections of my interests and personality, both as a lesbian, and as a person with a family of my own. (Let's just say I didn't put "Queer Literature" on my list of Reading Territories.)

However, I have long suspected that this would have to change when we had a baby. I work at a small school where a fair number of kids have parents on staff. I'm entirely out to staff (and therefore, to some kids). Last week, when I introduced the kids to Reading Workshop, I went ahead and listed "parenting books" as one of the genres I read. I explained that I was going to be having a baby in a few months, and that my partner was pregnant. I think there may be a few kids who didn't quite get it, but most of them both understood, and were excited (well, excited was the girls; I hate to be stereotypical, but it really is the adolescent girls -- I teach 7th grade -- who get excited about babies).

It hasn't come up again. I don't have a pregnant belly to remind them. But they're a sweet bunch, and I am both relieved and excited to be moving forward, coming out again and again and again.

The Last Name Post

So we have finally been to civil court to start our name change process. We have been talking and stressing and pondering names since we got serious in 2002.

We both have three-syllable, identifiably ethnic last names. My mom says that together (like on our doorbell) they sound like a law firm. Hyphenation was just never an option.

We know people who have hyphenated (in a variety of ways). We know people who have combined letters in both last names to create a new name. We know people who have chosen new names entirely. We know people who have chosen to keep one partner's last name.

For a while we were planning to combine pieces of our two last names, thinking we would keep our last names, and we'd be identifiably Flipper's parents because his name would have elements of both of ours. But then Co got cold feet. And ultimately I agree with her that it was not the best idea; we wouldn't all have the same name, and the combo name was kind of goofy sounding. It is not a great sign when you share your kid's theoretical last name and people's first response is to giggle.

Finally -- very recently -- out of the blue I came up with a name that combined the beginning syllables of my last name, and the ending syllables of Co's grandmother's maiden name (Co identifies deeply with the ethnicity of this grandmother, who raised her). I will change my last name to this new name and keep my middle name. Co, who has no middle name, will keep her last name as a middle name and add on our new last name.

And so the three of us (!) *will* have the same name. The Family O.

Photo Friday: Light

For this week, I chose the sunset photos I took on Cape May this summer. I am not a serious photographer, and I certainly don't have a serious camera, but I like the way these came out.

The first two are at the beach where we took Maggie most evenings. The third photo is from the dolphin boat.

Of Blogfriends, Dachshunds, and Jewish Holidays

We met Melody! It's always great to put the words to a face, and we're looking forward to getting together again later in the year. I regret only that she cannot attend Sing-along Buffy with us this weekend (email me if you're interested).

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Maggie has had a tough summer. First she had an itchy belly covered with bumps that turned into an infection. The vet thinks it's a skin allergy, so she's had two different shampoo treatments all summer for that (she *hates* baths) plus a round of antibiotics. But the bumps kept coming back. The vet decided to try a hypoallergenic food...right around the time poor Maggie got a case of the squirts. She was on rice and baby food for about a week, but then we finally transitioned her to the new food. No sooner had she firmed up again, but: frequent urination, and blood in her pee. That was scary, but it seems (knock wood) to be a urinary tract infection that is already clearing up with antibiotics. My rockstar Co actually caught a urine sample from our little lowrider.

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Tonight begins the celebration of the Jewish New Year (L'shana tovah!). We observed this occasion by going to childbirth class. Before that, we enjoyed a festive meal of greasy Chinese food (our name for fast-food Chinese to distinguish it from the quality place). I am not always the most precisely observant Jew, as much as I might care about the traditions. (And it's not *inappropriate* to celebrate a Jewish holiday with Chinese food...) I am going to services tomorrow, but probably not on Friday, because we are going to civil court to begin our name change process. Both the name change and the childbirth class do not feel inconsistent with the New Year. (More on the name change in a future post...)

Various & Sundry Updates

"I can't wait to do community service! That sounds so cool!"
--B., on looking at her middle school schedule

That is today's 7th grade quote of the day. My kids this year are SO CUTE. And after last year's poorly trained orangutans, I am about due. Yesterday's quote of the day:

"Don't we have any new kids? Don't they have, like, a draft?"
--R., the sports fan

In fact, we do not have any new kids in the 6th, 7th or 8th grades, thanks to an experimental school policy. I'm immensely grateful, because for the past five years the local school district has actively encouraged children they consider too incorrigible (and in one unfortunate case, violent) to head over to our (charter) school. I truly believe our school can do wonders for a difficult kid...but not if they enter in 7th grade. (We're a K-8.) All this to say, the year is off to a good start.


In other news, Wednesday was our first childbirth class. Our instructor is actually a sort-of relative of mine (my cousin's aunt), and Oneofhismoms is an alum of the course. Starting class really made Flipper's arrival seem realer. It was the first time I've had any clear understanding of labor and I'm starting to believe we might be having a baby. Yikes.

In other oh-my-God-we're-having-a-baby-news, we had a prenatal appointment yesterday. Co took the glucose challenge. And Midwife S. informed us that at our next appointment, they'll be checking to see where Flipper's head is located. Good heavens.

My First Day Of School

Today was the day! I went back last week to set up my classroom, but today brought the children, school in its shiny, vibrating, chaotic form.

I love the first day of school. I always did. I was the kid who looked forward to shopping for school supplies (at W*olworth's of blessed memory). Even now, I love setting up my little drawers of paper clips and glue sticks, sharpening pencils, setting out fresh markers and watercolors. I love using colors to set up my classroom...the labels, the paper, the borders. I had a minor freak-out earlier in the week because when the St*ples order came in, my new Sh*rpies were back-ordered and my red had run out. This meant I could not write the kids' names on their mailboxes in rainbow order. I rallied, however, and chose to write their names in variants of blue and green, to go with my ocean-themed decor this year.

I start the year with a unit on exploring identity (through poetry and other writings), so I traced a small mardi gras mask from a template online and then cut out twenty-three of them in different colors, and wrote each child's name on one.

I'm a little freaky about this stuff.

I sincerely enjoyed meeting my students today. I've been told they are a sweet and, at times, even studious group, and I'm looking forward to a good year with them.

So here, as part of the extended Show & Tell Photo Friday, are some pictures of my classroom. I snapped them this morning before the children messed up my perfectly ordered domain. Click on each picture to see the notes.

This Weekend...

...we made $104 for the Flipper Fund in a 2 day stoop sale-stravaganza!

Last weekend, we got to see this:





And this:

How Do We Choose A Doula?

Help, please.

We want to set up a "meet & greet" with one or two of the local doula organizations, but how do you pick who to meet from a list of bios online??

Thanks in advance, oh wise IVP.

Photo Friday: Show & Tell

I'll start with Co, because she has the coolest thing to show: her bump! At six months in, she is really looking pregnant. This picture is from 23 weeks 4 days (note our lovely B & B in the background):




I, however, have undergone a mild makeover to assuage my pain at going back to school, so I present to you my newly purple toes, and touched-up auburn hair:





We're off now for a whirlwind weekend baby tour: Nephew S., Squeak, and Gus.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

*Stayed at the most wonderful, friendly, pet-friendly B & B. Seriously, I recommend this place for anyone remotely nearby (C*pe M*y).

*Went to the beach. A lot. In our family, people and canines alike enjoy the beach. (The black lab is my mom's dog, Buster.)

*Saw dolphins. Also a lot. Over 500 dolphins from North Carolina spend the summer months in C*pe M*y. You can see them daily from the beach, and you can go on a dolphin watch boat. The captain of this particular boat tells all his passengers how poorly dolphins fare in captivity (they survive only 5 years, as opposed to 50 in the wild) and urges us to see them in the Atlantic, their natural habitat. It's truly amazing and we could do it every day. The dolphins love the boat; they play in the wake and seem to show off for their audience. Here's the best video I got of their antics.



You can see many other local sights from the boat, as well.

*Spent a few days with my mom, which were mostly pleasant. (She always talks about joining us on our beach vacation, so I didn't think much of it when she brought it up. Imagine my surprise when she followed through!)

*Zipped over to Wildwood to see Oneofhismoms, partner A., and the ever adorable Cakie. We played mini-golf (complete with annoying singing pelicans), admired the baby on the beach, and dug big holes.

*Watched Maggie hunt a mussel. Yes, she hunted a mussel. She is so weird. Something about the scent must have triggered the same instinct that causes her to hunt domesticated hamsters (to her credit, she has hunted and killed two mice). Note the instinctual pawing, snapping, and jumping back. Clearly she has something to fear from this particular prey.



*Played skee-ball and other boardwalk games. I played Whack-A-Mole (actually the version of the game was whacking alligators) because, I maintain, it is just like teaching.

*Ate lots of great fish, ice cream, fudge, and other beach food.

*Brought home delicious Jersey produce. Jersey tomatoes & peaches...mmmm...

Two Years

Two years ago today...










P.S. 1st photo by A. & S. Last photo by Fostermoms.

Photo Friday & Off to the Beach

This is a cheater picture because it's not from our neck of the woods. It's from our trip to California. This redwood was on display at Henry Cowell State Park (near Santa Cruz):



This tree was almost 2000 years old. Wow!!!

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Also, we are off to the beach tomorrow!! Wheee! We love to read on the beach, jump in the waves, and take Maggie to the dog-friendly beaches. (There is a small possibility that I/we will be checking in to comment, depending on wireless access. Otherwise...see you in a week!)

Lesbian Lawyer

Today we met with our lawyer for the first time, yet another addition to Team Flipper. We really liked her. She went over all the details of second parent adoption, estate planning, and name change with us (another post forthcoming on *that* issue). The end result will be pricey, but worth it, and we're hoping to deduct some to all of it as part of the Adoption Tax Credit.

Our lawyer is "family" and she and her partner have a daughter. Her firm specializes in LGBT law and that feels right. Also, her office is in the Emp*re St*te Bldg, so on our way up to the office we saw a man in a large King Kong outfit. That, I'm guessing, is not part of a typical lawyer's visit.

EDIT: We also did some reconnaissance shopping and picked out Flipper's (first) bed! I was very excited. Then we stopped at P*tSm*rt to get a crate for Maggie; we're taking her on vacation and wanted a secure way to leave her in our B&B room while we're at the beach.

Guess whose bed was more expensive.

Feeling Rich!

We finally met Lagiulia for the first time today (despite living practically around the corner). She is lovely, and her twin boys are positively adorable. Plus we found out that we went to the same (very small) college! LaG generously handed off many of Picchi and Pacchi's former things...clothes, toys, bottles, you name it.

I can't believe how much stuff we have! Thank goodness for basement storage. It makes me really happy to have so many well-loved items for Flipper.

Here's a picture of the bouncy seat:

She wasn't fond of the vibrating setting.

Also, in keeping with Sacha's recent video of Finn rolling over, here's some footage Co got yesterday:



And for good measure, here's what happens 'round here at dinnertime. Every day. (Make sure your sound is up for full effect.)

Photo Monday: Our Art

I'm a little late on this one, but hopefully you'll find our art worth the wait. ;-)

The first piece is a metal sculpture that hangs on the wall. It was a wedding gift from a cousin, who bought it at a fair he attends out in Oregon (where he lives) every year. Co calls it "Two Women Holding Hands...They Must Be Lesbians."



Second is our ketubah (a Jewish marriage contract). Though we are not married legally, we are married Jewishly. The ocean theme in the ketubah art was perfect for us, and I *love* that there's a rainbow incorporated in a non-cheesy fashion. The gold lettering around the circle says (in Hebrew) "Ani dodi v'dodi li" which means "I am my beloved and my beloved is mine" (from Song of Songs).




In other news: we met up with some NYC bloggers this weekend. It was great fun!

And I felt Flipper kick once. Hoping for more soon...

8 More Things About Lo

Oneofhismoms tagged me, so here you are, 8 more random facts about me. And boy, are they getting more random (I've done this one twice before). I will make Co do this as well. It's been too long since she posted.

Here are the rules:
Let others know who tagged you.
Players start with 8 random facts about themselves
Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts
Players should tag 8 other people and tell them they’ve been tagged.

1. I have great teeth. I saw the dentist on Tuesday and he said mine were the best teeth he had seen all day. (This makes up for my doctor's appointments. I'm quite healthy, but everyone has something to say about my weight.)

2. I can touch my nose with my tongue. I can even stick it up there, a little bit, which leads to...

3. Sometimes, I have the sense of a humor of a 7th grade boy. I hope Flipper appreciates that.

4. Every so often, I like to spend a whole day in my pjs. This drives Co crazy.

5. I am fiercely loyal to Macintosh. My father, who made us Mac girls, has gone over to the dark side and now owns a Dell. Hmph.

6. I have never seen an entire episode of "Friends." Until recently, this was true of "Seinfeld" as well.

7. My two best friends in college were straight when we met, and lesbians by graduation. Mwa-ha-ha.

8. I can lift one eyebrow. It scares students. :-)

I don't know that I can tag anyone who hasn't done this one. So I'm sorry if you've done it but here goes: Marci, J., Meg and Kim, A., Sarah, MermaidGrrl, and Sophia.

Of Midwives & Registries

Our midwife appointment went smoothly. Midwife A. measured Co's fundus for the first time. It was 22 1/2 which is fine for 21 weeks (fundal height is roughly equal to number of weeks pregnant, so it's on the big side). Flipper also measured larger than the stats in our pregnancy books at the ultrasound (he was almost a pound) so Co is slightly concerned that he will be a big baby.

************

As per my pregnancy planner, I've set up registries for Flipper. We're more than happy to get as much secondhand/borrowed gear as we can, so hopefully I'll be taking items off of it.

I sent the links to my parents, just in case anyone asks them for the information. We're way too superstitious for a shower but setting up a registry didn't bother me. Apparently the superstition actually weakened in passage from Mom to me, however, because the very idea freaked her out. She's excited to sponsor a naming for Flipper at our congregation, though, which really touched me.

So on the topic of baby gear: what do we need??

We have a stroller, and will be using Nephew S's infant car seat since any day now he will be graduating to his big boy seat! I have a pretty good idea what we'll be getting for Flip to sleep in (Graco P@ack n' Play Tr@vel Lite). Grandmom (my mom) has put herself down for the changing table/dresser (if you have recommendations for a good combo let me know!). A particular mystifying issue is the Diaper Pail. We will probably be using disposables*. Suggestions? And what other Stuff is essential? Both general advice, and mentions of/links to specific products, welcome.


*a) Laundry is in the basement, not our apartment, and not many washers/dryers for the number of apts in the building.
b) Shared washers means no control over detergents that go in the washers.
c) We will look into cloth diaper service but have heard through the grapevine that that's no longer available in our neck of the woods.
d) That is all. No discussion necessary. :-)

Photo Friday: Pink

It's been too long since I participated in Photo Friday! I don't really have a lucky charm. And I'm not sure what my favorite T-shirt is. (Co did give me one with three dachshund back-ends and the caption "Nothing BUTT doxies!")

I present to you my little cousin S.:



She is 5, and her favorite color is pink. This is not the pinkest outfit she wore while we were there. Apparently it's a new, and socially-influenced phase; her favorite color used to be green. My sister was obsessed with pink from the age of 2 or 3 and S. reminds me of her...the nursery school teacher even took my mom aside to ask her to put my sister in less frilly clothes, so she could get dirty and play outside...and my mom had to explain that she could not get my sister into anything BUT pink frilly dresses.

California in Depth

I started going to CA for my training, in a town called S@n Anselmo. I met Co at the airport when she flew out, and from there we headed into the city (S@n Fr@n). We walked around the C@stro a little, then headed to P@lo Alto where my cousins (my dad's first cousin P. and her husband M.) live. Their teenage daughters (12 and 14) were fighting over a hair straightener, and the house looks like a B@th and Body W*rks explosion. Ah, the joys of adolescence.

We spent a day in the city, where we visited tourist attractions extraordinaire: Fisherm@n's Wh@rf, the C@nnery, Ghir@rdelli Square (YUM). We both loved seeing the water, and I got a huge kick out of the sea lions. I even took video.

Then we drove south to my first cousin C. (I only have one) near S@nta Cruz. She has two kids, 5 and 20 months, and I last saw them just over a year ago. Oh, the changes! C. and her husband R. have a small RV, which was pretty cool to see. We drove it over to a park with amazing redwoods. There is one tree with a hole inside that you can climb into...apparently people used to rent it as a honeymoon suite!! We also went to the beach, and had the lollaberries (alollaberries? I am really wondering about this).

I started reading HP 7 on the plane home, and I'm savoring it, though Co may lay down the law soon so she can get her turn. I am looking forward to the conversations with you-all! But am obviously keeping my head in the sand for now.

More updates soon: today's midwife appointment, and registry questions.

Level 2 Ultrasound: Flipper Revelation

Flipper is...a...BOY!

(The sono tech said this was his "gender." Actually, "sex" means that he has XY chromosomes, while "gender" is a construction of society. Personally, I think that some people mistakenly think that "gender" is a more correct term because it sounds fancier. Or, my lovely wife suggests, because they're afraid to say "sex.")

He also appears to be healthy.

And his ears stick out. (Co says these are the cursed ears from her family -- her dad and her brother had/have them too -- but I think it's adorable.)

The doctor used the word "big" to describe his boy-part. Should Mama be proud? Co wants me to erase that line, but our compromise is that I'm revealing myself as the tackiest member of our partnership (hello, I think you all knew that).

We also found out a few days ago that Co's friend, CF, who shares her due date, is also having a boy.

Winner of the sex-guessing pool TBA. (I still want to blog more about our vacation, too.)

Home Again Home Again

We're back!

A longer post about our time in CA will come in a day or two. Here are some teasers:

*The training I attended is for a program called S.E.E.D. It's really meaningful, delves deeply into issues of racism, sexism, classism, homophobia, and other such forms of oppression. A rare opportunity to really recharge my batteries as a teacher. I'll be happy to share info with anyone who's interested!

*We had a great time visiting cousins from both sides of my family. We partook of fun tourist crap in S@n Fr@n and hung out with my two endearingly teenaged cousins in P@lo Alto. Then we went south to see my first cousin (my only one) near S@nta Cruz. She has two kids, 5 and almost 2, and they are too adorable and delightful. 5-year-old S. was really excited about her cousin Flipper, and even introduced Co's belly to her playdate ("Slipper" in S-speak).

*We had lollaberries for the first time. Anyone know what these are? They were really, really yummy. The little cousins picked them and the grownups made lollaberry crisp.

*We got to see Charlotte and LM, if briefly.

*Even though I said I would wait 'til I got home to pick up HP7, I broke down on the evening of 7/21 and called bookstores in P@lo Alto until I found one that had copies left and was still open. I'm not proud that it was a chain, but you do what you have to. (We finally get to see the movie tomorrow!!)

Notes from Northern CA

I write this from the dorm room that I'm sharing with another participant in a week-long staff development training. We're being housed at a boarding school in Marin County. Even I have to appreciate the Nature of the place, it's really quite beautiful. (I'm always struck that different parts of the country, and of the world, have distinctly different scents based on the vegetation.)

I will write more about the training when I get home because educators, you must get this into your schools. Amazing, amazing stuff. (But for now I'll be vague so as not to betray my exact whereabouts.) For now I'll say this: it's the first multicultural training I've been to that is truly integrated, probably half white and half folks of color. There's also diversity in terms of gender, sexual orientation, and class to some degree. Several black men have commented on how great it is to be with other black men who are engaged in the process. How often do you hear that?? Good stuff.


A final nerdly note: I've never been successful in listening to the radio on an airplane, but for some reason, it worked on the trip out here. I could have sworn that in the past I've only gotten static.

Anyway, I listened to my walkperson all the way across the country. I heard local stations as we rose above New York...then Lancaster, PA...then Harrisburg...then Ohio...then Illinois...then Nebraska, Kansas, Colorado, and Wyoming stations all came in at once (that Four Corners thing)...then Utah (hi,Chicory!)...Nevada...Sacramento...and finally San Francisco.

I found this to be amazingly cool. I hope I can do it on the way home.

Photo Very Very Late: Fun in the Sun

(Scroll down to vote in Co's poll, below!)

This topic was meant for us, since Co and I love the beach. Truly love. We are both serious worshipers of the ocean, and love to ride the waves. (Though we also enjoy lying on the sand with a stack of books.)

Last summer we took a belated honeymoon (our wedding was in 2005) to a wonderful, LOO retreat in St. Cr*ix. This picture is of the beach literally in the backyard of the resort. Click on the picture to see the rest of the set.




We seriously recommend this place if anyone is looking for a place to go in the Caribbean. The prices are extremely reasonable (it's the airfare to the USVI that made the honeymoon a splurge).


Here are some pictures that show our long history of beach-going. We are both two in these pictures; Co's (the first picture, with dark hair) is at Wildwood on the Jersey Shore, mine is probably on Cape Cod though I'm not certain.


Finally, here is a bonus pic, of Maggie at the beach. Oh, you thought we'd go a Photo Friday with no Maggie pix, did you? Fear not. Maggie also loves the beach. She's not such a fan of the waves, but as I've noted elsewhere, she loves to dig, run on the beach, chase birds and the bubbles in the ocean, and of course, scavenge for gross things to eat. Here she is in Cape M@y, where we hope to go later this summer. It's a great spot for dog-friendly beaches!

Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart?

Yes, we went here! There are many more pictures on flickr (click on any of the pictures in this post to see the set).

It seems that 7-11 has, in order to promote the upcoming film, transformed a select number of its locations into Kw*k-E-Marts. Co read about this on Sea Inn Inn (thanks, Cali) and then, being as she is a crazed S*mpsons fan, we found the one in our neck of the woods. Look here to see if there's one in your town.

It was a ridiculous amount of fun. We were so not the only lunatics there with cameras, shooting away, while a few ordinary customers squeezed past and wondered what was going on.

Co bought a limited edition R@dioactive M@n comic for brother J. who, like Co, heavily peppers all conversation with S*mpsons quotes. You can get a Squ*shee, B*zz Cola, Kr*sty-O's, and pink donuts, though they were out of everything but the first item. The photo-ops were endless...

Legal Aid

We are looking for a lawyer to help us with: creating wills, possible name changes (post on that drama forthcoming), my adoption of Flipper. Ideally, the same person would handle all of it. Anyone who lives near us (in the Apple) have any recommendations?

Co found this site through a G00gle search but that's our only lead.

Good News in the IVP!

Welcome baby August!!

And a big congratulations to the new mommies, Jude and Jen.