Thursday, April 06, 2006

Sperm Update

We have an official appointment with our sperm bank of choice, The Sperm Bank of California.

We feel quite solid about that choice, both of us being the research-decisions-to-death-with-multiple-sources sort of personality (is there a quiz for that??).

So now we're playing that waiting game, until our appointment on Friday, April 20. This reminds me of the holding pattern in which I swirled while we waited to meet with our PKD (who is now our FKD, where F means "failed"). At least we know this time that, in our capitalist society, if we can raise the funds, we can have the goods. There is no Wife, just a loving group of lesbian "midwives" at the bank o' sperm.

I am personally looking forward to the large amount of information/advice the sperm bank promises to provide...I'm officially done with my own research and ready to turn to the Experts who have made babies in this wacky way before. (Which is to say I'm starting to go in circles with myself, like Maggie chasing her tail. Which she actually rarely does.)

So. Once again, Now We Wait. (You know that I am not going to be real suave or peaceful about the whole TWW thing. I can already see myself climbing the walls. However, you'll all be pleased to know that that self I can stare at, climbing those warm buttery beige apartment walls, is not actually speaking to me. Because then I would need a paraprofessional like my pre-schizophrenic student.)

And on another note, do other people sometimes feel so biologically driven by this whole process that they reflect, deeply and daily, on the fact that we ARE animals?


Sarah and BB said...



Good Luck with the meeting!

And yes, I really think you start to "mammalize" every thing you do in the TTC thing.

Instinct is a powerful thing.

Kay said...

These people used the same sperm bank. They got pregnant on the first shot, too. Maybe you should rub their homepage for good luck, or something.

Brooke said...

Hooray! This is very, very exciting. I think it's great that you live near enough to benefit from an actual in person meeting with staff. I think I'm going to feel a little disconnected by the fact that most of our contact will be phone or email based. Alas, unless we go with a MUCH smaller selection (and no id release) that our OB/GYN office keeps stocked, we have to go the mail order route. And I'm with you on the whole geez-waiting-is-driving-me-nuts kind of thing. Yeah, there will be no serene, peaceful TWW here either :)

Lo said...

Brooke, FYI, we don't live anywhere near California!! It's a coincidental trip. We will be mail-ordering, though I'm glad we'll at least get to see the place in person....

Askinstoo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
mermaidgrrrl said...

What are the characteristics you're going to go for with your donor? I found that talking about this before we went to the bank made choosing very fast and easy cause we already had some parameters we could give the co-ordinator and we narrowed it down to them straight away and then chose from that selection.
I think it definitely brings out the animal in me - I am gunning for the kind of genes in a donor that I guess I should be attracted to in the real world if I wasn't queer which is kind of weird. Now I can't imagine what it must be like for poor women who have to have a child with the genes of whoever they happened to fall in love with no matter how dodgy. One girl at work went a bit pale when I said this - her husbands family have a MASSIVE history of cancer and heart disease. I think she went from feeling a bit better than us cause she's all cute and married and straight and everything, to maybe feeling just a bit P'd off that she's giving her kid genes that could possibly kill them.

eryn said...

I am so happy for you two that you have made this step and are feeling good about it. I really hope all goes smoothly as you continue.

SandraMort said...

I think we all come to a point where we realize that we ARE mammals, when push comes to shove. Anyone who says humans don't go into heat, well, has never been a fertile adult female.

SandraMort said...

I think she went from feeling a bit better than us cause she's all cute and married and straight and everything, to maybe feeling just a bit P'd off that she's giving her kid genes that could possibly kill them.

It's a hard spot to be in. On one hand, the expense and emotional aspect of rejecting your partner and his genetic material. On the other hand, the risk of whatever his problems may be. You have to weigh it carefully, and it is a shame more don't.

For us, my dh's family has a history of alcoholism and depression, same as mine. I feel prepared to handle those things. But cute and married? Eh. I don't think that buys me anything but some unfair advantages with the government.