Thursday, October 11, 2007

MW Appointment and Me Being Whiny

So, I had another MW appointment... with MW Apple.

Flipper's HB is good: 130.
My BP is fine--higher than usual, but not high.
My fundal height was right on target.
My weight gain was fine: 3 lb in 5 wks which brings me to 23 lb (although it was really 4 lb and she let me subtract 1 lb for my shoes)
Flipper is head-down, which is great. I'm not really surprised, because I don't see how he could keep kicking my ribs like he enjoys doing if he's not head-down. But, still, a huge relief.

Of course, despite all this, I spent the first 20 minutes of my appointment sobbing uncontrollably. I hope that midwives, like R.E.'s, are not thrown by this kind of emotional display.

MW Apple was very nice about the whole thing. I am just a big ball of stress. I was feeling very overscheduled. There just seemed like so much stuff that needed to get done FAST... medical appointments (MW and endocrinologist), doula interviews, childbirth education classes, pediatrician interviews, a hospital tour, finalizing our name changes, scheduling a home study, signing our wills... Some of that stuff we've finished recently or at least started, and the rest still needs to be done. We also needed to buy me a new, very small work desk so we can move my work station to our living room/dining room so our current home office can begin metamorphosing into Flipper's room (not that it's totally becoming a nursery yet... we just don't have room and he'll be sleeping in our bedroom at first anyway). We need to make some home repairs and car repairs. Meanwhile, I have tight work deadlines, am dealing with new work software that is needlessly driving me nuts, and am *hoping* I earn enough to afford me a 3-month maternity leave, but we'll see. I also really need to finish reading a couple of parenting books before Flip gets here, too.

Difficulty sleeping hasn't helped. Leg cramps, backaches, and anxiety have all been making it hard to sleep through the night, and that hasn't been making me feel better.

I've been taking long walks every day with the dog. Exercise and eating well are probably the only good things I'm doing these days.

So, anyway, this is the most boring and whiny post ever, but ... I've just been feeling like there isn't enough time in the world to get everything done that needs to get done. And feeling that way isn't helping me focus and make progress toward getting it done either.

But, since that appointment, I've been feeling better. Lo and I hammered out some compromises so I don't feel so overwhelmed, and that helps. I am also trying very hard to limit unnecessary social activities ... kind of taking the attitude that if something CAN give in my life, I should let it give because I can.

Anyway, that's what's been up with me.


vee said...

That is indeed a long to-do list. Glad you are feeling a little better and figuring out ways to tackle it and stay sane at the same time.

Sandra said...

Wow, that sounds overwhelming. *hugs* Can any of it wait until after the baby arrives?

Jude said...

Prioritize. Let go anything that can get let go. Your body will thank you.


oneofhismoms said...

My darling,

You've made up these baby deadlines. You will be alive and well after Flipper arrives and you will still be able to do the things that didn't get done. You are actually way ahead of the game. It is ok to whine and stress if you feel it necessary. But I also want you to sit down and make a list of things that you HAVE completed. Here was my list of things I had completed before Cakie arrived three weeks early:
buy crib
paint room

His adoption didn't go through until he was a year old. We just got the wills done right before he turned two... you are WAY ahead of the game. Give yourself a pat on the back. Take a nice deep breath.

love, ohm

Adriana Velez said...

Lo totally rocks. What a good wife!

Yeah, you may not get all of it done, but like oneofhismoms says, you'll get it done eventually.

It is easy to feel overwhelmed. I remember that sense of urgency. Things slow way, way down when the baby arrives, though. And then you'll start lactating (maybe?) and the don't-worry-be-happy hormones will kick in. You're gonna love those.

charlotte said...

There is NOT enough time. Totally not enough time. And then when the baby comes there will be even more things that need to get done that don't get done. I'm just being honest. The more you can let go of, the better. I recently found my to do list from when I was pregnant and there are STILL things on that fucking list that are not done 3 years later. S didn't officially adopt LM until he was almost 2. Our wills are mostly done but not notarized. If you can (this is my unasked for advice) make it part of the plan that many things will not be completed. Also, whine away. You are allowed. Whine more. Let it rip.

jay said...

That sounded very un-whiny and totally cahartic if you ask me. Since you didn't ask me, I'll just add that you sound WAY organised. Wow. I am impressed. And a bit scared!

EggDropBlogger said...

It seems like you are trying to do a lot before the baby gets here but things might work out if everything is not lined up in a row before his birth.

I know how you feel, though. I would probably be feeling the same way.

Melody said...

Poor Co. I don't have anything to add that others haven't said. Just sorry that you're feeling so overwhelmed and sending calming energy your way. I'm hoping it's a little better already after writing this post. Hugs.

maeby said...

It IS overwhelming. And no need to apologize - there's so much involved in this huge life change. Other posters have given great advice, so I'll just send you gobs of hugs & hope that you'll find a path through this.

ms.bri said...

More of the same from me - let go of anything you possibly can. We had to suddenly let go at the end when the car died and I got bedrest. Things worked out. We signed the wills a few weeks ago. I'd say the maternity leave money is most important and most stressful. Hang in there. Keep whining.

FosterMommy said...

I agree with others - some things will not get done, and that's totally okay. If you assume that you won't finish everything and just make the list of the MUSTS, then you can relax and just do things at whatever pace you're up for.

We moved into our house 1 month before getting Niblet, and got her the day before our housewarming. We didn't really finish "moving in" until after she left - a year later.

If I was going to pick one thing you should focus on from that list, it'd probably be the wills. Everything else *can* wait if it has to.

That said - do fostermama and I have wills? Um...

calliope said...

everyone else has said it best, but there is ALWAYS space for whining, and freaking out, and stressing.
& trust me- I know how effing hard it is to just let go. I kind of suck at that myself.

Sandra said...

HEY!!! I have to show you this amazing looking space saving changing table that I saw today:

It's only good until 12 months or so, but in a tight space like yours, it's worth looking into. I'm going to IKEA tomorrow and will take a look at it and see what I think... I may get one for myself!

Lo said...

thanks, sandra; we already have an adorable changing table/dresser.

Anonymous said...

"Whine" away. This is stressful, no doubt.
I think one really hard thing is that before you have a baby, most everything seems important on the "to do" list. Once you have one, priorities just form somehow. If you don't know what to do or how to handle something on the parenting front, you'll look it up in a book or ask your doctor or ask a friend. Or google it, of course.
But the fact that you have no context yet for knowing the what and why and how of it is very overwhelming indeed. All I can say is that we did it with two, not really prepared in a lot of ways, with very little help. We survived. It was very, very hard, but loving the babies made it possible to stay sane. I wish the same for you and believe that it will come together and be okay.

fostermama said...

What laG said. Babies are really the best teachers. And parenting makes priorities much clearer, in my experience. Once Flipper is there, you'll know what you need to do.

And what others said, too. Whether you go on a hospital tour will be inconsequential in the scheme of things, for example.

Also, don't expect at any point to feel "ready". Even if you complete the list you have and more, you will be -no- more ready for a baby than you are *right now*. No one is ever ready, especially for the first. And that is totally ok. Again, he will teach you what you need to know, and you and Lo have each other to lean on and lots of external support as well.

You will be fine, regardless of completing things on that list.