We are anxious people by nature, so maybe this is no surprise, but:
I am so superstitious that I have not felt comfortable buying pregnancy books yet (though thanks for your many recommendations). We've decided to go to a bookstore after Friday's ultrasound if it goes well.
The domino effect of this superstition is that when Co stops feeling nauseous, or has mild cramping, or sneezes and fears she has dislodged Embryo-O, we are left with Dr. Google and our dear, dear Internet buddies. Those of you who have received my frantic emails....thanks. Gettin' books on Friday, we hope.
Co has changed shampoo brands. Her clothes are uncomfortably tight but we're too superstitious to get the hand-me-down maternity clothes we have coming to us from my sister (plus my sis has warm weather clothes, not too useful in the Northeast's current version of spring).
We are both happy, too, of course, and immensely grateful. But we both feel awfully convinced that something could, even will, go horribly wrong at every turn. I'm not sure why that is in my case...perhaps that this is such a pinnacle for me. There is no other goal, no other wish I have nourished as long or as consistently as my desire to be a mom. There is nothing I have ever wanted this much. Do I deserve it? I am afraid to think so.