Saturday, November 01, 2008

Aging

So, Monday was my birthday. I'm 34. (Thanks to the working mom status, I've been working on this post since Monday.)

It's my first birthday as a mama, and that has been magical. I got to take my little guy to music class, and he gave me a present! He chose a pair of turtle socks just for me on his trip to the aquarium last week! (I spent a night away on a camping trip with my students, and Co was home with him for two days, so they went on an adventure. He also chose a stuffed shark for himself. He is truly Mommy's son.)

I'm thinking about my age, however, in terms of TTC. My deadline for motherhood, in my head, was 32, because that's how old my mom was when I was born. I was 33 when Jo was born.

I am hoping to be 34 when I begin trying to conceive a biological child. Our plan is for me to go through testing with an RE this spring, so that I can begin inseminations over the summer (when I'll be off work and it will be easier to deal with the multiple monitoring appointments). In the fall, I'll just have to deal.

I am anxious -- not to say terrified -- about my fertility. My periods have always been regular and I have no reason to worry, but I have no reason not to, either. I'm also afraid that an RE might refuse to treat me "unless I lose weight," which is unlikely to happen. Will I truly be denied biological parenthood for such a silly reason? Plenty of large women get pregnant the old-fashioned way.

I don't necessarily expect my age to be a huge problem, but I'm not 22, either.

I don't mind sharing this plan here, in this space, because I don't mind being held accountable, or explaining if our plans change. This is where we write about TTC, after all, despite our current break to revel in parenthood.

8 comments:

vee said...

It IS all pretty terrifying and you know too much to claim bliss through ignorance. I hope all checks out fine and Jo gets a little brother or sister in a timely fashion!

j.k-c. said...

Happy Birthday!
I turned 34 this week too! And my mom had me when she was 32 too! I love having things in common.

I think that your plan for a new sibling for Jo sounds great. And you never know, maybe it will be simple. It is for some people. :)
Wishing you the best of luck for your birthday wishes.

meanmama said...

Happy Birthday!
34 is still below that statistical 35 for ttc, right? But I don't blame you for being nervous- you know too much. My periods were always normal too, and my charts were beautiful, but no baby for 1 1/2 years. On the other hand, there are plenty of people (I'm thinking of a friend of mine) who have strange, irregular cycles and get pregnant very quickly. In sum, who the hell knows? In any case, I'm excited for you...

calliope said...

HAPPY (now belated) BIRTHDAY!!!
I love reading about your ttc plans- it gets me so excited for you guys. And seriously- if an RE turns you away for weight get a new RE. The only fertility issues that are directly attributed to weight are PCOS and irregular periods and I don't think you have either of those concerns.(& both are treatable with meds)
As far as age...I hear you. I started ttc when I was 29 and didn't think I would have any issues. ha ha ha! But I also have a good friend that started ttc at 37 and has gotten knocked up easily.
Can't wait to hear more as the planning happens.

Sandra Mort said...

34 isn't so bad, I had my first at 39. But I'm a little nervous for you re the weight. My friend was turned down for surrogacy for several reasons, one of which was definitely her weight. You're RIGHT, of course, but they get on a power trip. KWIM?

possiblemaybe said...

Happy, happy (now, a bit belated). I can understand the apprehension. Trying to conceive IS scary; you have to trust your body. For most of us, that's just not an easy thing to do. I truly, truly hope that you're one of those lucky first-time wonders ;)

indigoscot said...

we thought dp would be fine ttc - she's 32, regular periods etc.. but now after a LOT of testing we know she has hashimoto's and is on synthroid, she has factor v leiden and mthfr (both hetero) and had a uterine polyp. what does all that mean? she wouldn't have been able to get pregnant if we hadn't known and started treating her conditions. i'm a firm believer in testing - if nothing else it puts your mind at ease.

fostermama said...

Exciting that you're thinking of starting to try! I'm sure it is scary. I agree with the PP that if you encounter an RE who won't work with you due to weight, it's time to find another RE. You don't need the pressure or stress. I know you've said you *want* to lose weight before ttc, but that's your call not your doctor's. Why not give them a call right now and find out if they have limits on weight, so you can put a stop to that piece of the stressful wondering?

I had thought I wanted to be a parent at 28 (if I was going to be at all - I wasn't ever as sure as you) and Squeak came home when I was 30, even if I was parenting foster kids before then. I still take some comfort in knowing that I was a little younger than my mom was when I was born (she was 31). Isn't it weird, these games we play?