Friday, September 14, 2007

The Last Name Post

So we have finally been to civil court to start our name change process. We have been talking and stressing and pondering names since we got serious in 2002.

We both have three-syllable, identifiably ethnic last names. My mom says that together (like on our doorbell) they sound like a law firm. Hyphenation was just never an option.

We know people who have hyphenated (in a variety of ways). We know people who have combined letters in both last names to create a new name. We know people who have chosen new names entirely. We know people who have chosen to keep one partner's last name.

For a while we were planning to combine pieces of our two last names, thinking we would keep our last names, and we'd be identifiably Flipper's parents because his name would have elements of both of ours. But then Co got cold feet. And ultimately I agree with her that it was not the best idea; we wouldn't all have the same name, and the combo name was kind of goofy sounding. It is not a great sign when you share your kid's theoretical last name and people's first response is to giggle.

Finally -- very recently -- out of the blue I came up with a name that combined the beginning syllables of my last name, and the ending syllables of Co's grandmother's maiden name (Co identifies deeply with the ethnicity of this grandmother, who raised her). I will change my last name to this new name and keep my middle name. Co, who has no middle name, will keep her last name as a middle name and add on our new last name.

And so the three of us (!) *will* have the same name. The Family O.


EggDropBlogger said...

Wow, I lot happened at the Family O last week! You two have been busy, huh?

The third trimester! That has a nice ring to it, doesn't it.

As for the name change, the creation of something new is always special. The new name represents the new life you are embarking on with Flipper. I'm glad you were able to come up with something that doesn't make people laugh.



calliope said...

beauuuuuuutiful idea! so wonderful & exciting!

Melody said...

An interesting way of handling it. I love that you will all have the same last name.

Vanessa and I go back and forth on this. She wanted to change our last name to something outrageously sapphic, to the point where everyone would have made fun of us, and I said absolutely not. I wanted to keep my last name. Now I kind of want to hyphenate, and she is resistant. It's a tough issue to sort out. I'm glad you guys were able to reach consensus. :)

Co said...

It took us years to reach this consensus and I was getting mild cold feet even one day before we did it. I think I always have to panic a bit before a major life decision. Although now I'm really glad we started the process and am pleased about how little we need to do to finish it.

I am kind of a traditional gal and often feel like I am a sucky lesbian because of it. I wish sometimes that I could've just taken Lo's last name when we got married... except it's not that easy for us, of course, not being legally married and all.

If not for Flipper, I think I'd still be hemming and hawing about the last name. But I really want him to share a last name with both his mothers. Not everyone feels that way and that's fine, but I think it's just one more way of legitimizing the ties that both of us will have to him to the rest of the world.

charlotte said...

email it to me! right now!!

oneofhismoms said...

I'm so happy for you guys. I'm regretting the hypehnation a little. It is just so cumbersome. But neither of us were willing to part with our last names... yahhooo for you!

e. said...

glad you found something you both like! we too have spent years trying to decide and it's nice to finally be in the process of making the change. i'm with charlotte - email me your new name!!!!

Anonymous said...

O? That's my last name.