Today just as I was coming up from the subway station, the five-year-old boy who lives in our building passed by on his way home from school with his mom. He wanted to hold my hand as we walked to the building, and he wanted to use the key to open the front door. As we walked, he asked, "Where's your wife?" I said that she was inside. His mother said, "Now I don't know why he said that. M., they could be roommates! I'm sorry if he's saying something that's wrong." I told her he was right.
He knows. He won't be surprised if/when we have a baby.
I am having trouble believing this is real. It just feels like another optimistic moment, like when Co responded well to the injectibles, when our IUI was well-timed...I keep saying, "Yeah, it looks good!" and the few people we've told keep saying "It doesn't just look good! She's really pregnant!"
I will feel much more settled after Friday's beta, I think.
According to FF she is 4 weeks pregnant. That is bizarre. (Also, according to FF, she is a "graduate." Good Lord.)
We haven't told many people. (Only the whole blogosphere! Ha ha ha.) Seriously...those who have followed us on our journey will always receive every hiccup of news. But other than a few close friends, no one else will know for a while. We haven't chosen an exact time of disclosure yet.
So this disjointed, numb post is an accurate reflection of where I'm at. I'm happy, of course I'm happy! But it's a guarded happy.
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7 comments:
Well, from experience, the less people you tell early the better.
I was kind of naive with telling people at work, especially with IVF having a pretty substantial m/c rate. You guys don't really have to worry about that, but telling people I was no longer pregnant was pretty damn hard.
Sit on this news for awhile before telling others (with the exception of close friends and family). That would be my advice.
Of course it is guarded. But it will probably feel surreal for a LONG time. OMG. I am just still so incredibly happy for you guys. And dude, that 5 year old is effing CUTE.
wait- FF actually called you guys "graduates"???
sheesh.
& for the record I *knew* you were knocked up the minute Lo told me you were feeling so different. bwah ha ha!!
thinking of you guys.
xo
Do you get a diploma or something upon graduation?
You should get a freak'in medal as far as I'm concerned!!
I totally understand the numbness, disjointed feeling, and guarded happiness. It makes sense. Here's hoping for more full-on happiness in the near future!
i hear you on the feelings. praying you'll release full on joy real soon
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