Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Nurse Lo, Lesbians at the Gyn, and Advice, Please

Now that we've been giving Co injectibles lo these many nights (okay since Thursday), we've become experts. Last night, however, was our first time with Ganirelix (the oh-no-don't-you-ovulate drug), thus, two shots. After the second injection Co felt a bit faint and had to sit down on the bathroom floor. (Please note that this did not happen tonight, and Co tends to get faint when giving blood or even getting blood taken for testing, so all is well).

However, I panicked and offered repeatedly to take her to the E.R. I woke several times and poked poor Co to make sure she was still breathing. No worrier, I...


As Co mentioned, I like our potential new Ob/Gyn. I hope we need her more for the Ob and less for the Gyn. I have always found paps and examinations very painful, and have more than once needed ultrasounds because the doctor couldn't get a clear sense of my ovaries from the exam. This doctor told me that my hymen was intact (I never really thought about that; I mean, not to reveal too much, but there's no reason it wouldn't be, though I thought if you rode a bike a lot as a kid....). She also said that she wouldn't be able to do an IUI or an HSG on me because my hymen was intact, though she did say that you can get pregnant with a hymen.

Maybe the REs are more skilled at, uh, bypassing the hymen? Or will that be a problem?? I am mighty confused.


Finally, some family advice. Here's the situation:

My mom is having surgery next week to have her ovaries removed. She had breast cancer 8 years ago (and has been cancer free for, I believe six; yeah!!). The doctor found a cyst on her ovary that they want to remove and biopsy (though she says many doctors have said they do not believe it is cancer) and will be taking out the ovaries while they're in there. Because she is post-menopausal (and the ovaries aren't doing much) and has had breast cancer, it's a good preventative measure, since ovarian cancer is linked to breast cancer. (Being my protective mom, she did not tell my sister and I any of this until she had made the decision and could assure us that there is little to worry about.)

But it's scary, and of course I want to help out, so Co and I are going up to be with her after the surgery, while her husband is away. The surgery is laparoscopic (sp?) so I'm not sure how long the recovery will take but I'm sure she can use the support.

My sister lives ten minutes away from my mom so she will come by and share nephew S. with us.

This is all fine. The complication is that there's a good possibility my dad (who lives three hours away from mom & sis and six hours away from us) will be in town the very same weekend. This is very, very bad, because:
a. I am not going to leave my recovering mother's side to go have brunch with my dad and his New Family. That is really, really, really wrong.
b. My dad cannot come to my mom's house (though were I to share the situation with her, which I will not, she might well offer that option in her typical martyr's fashion). That is really, really, really explosive.
c. I cannot lie low and have my sister lie for me (tempting though it is) because that is unfair to her. She and her husband run a community theater which will be producing a play that weekend (that's why my dad might be in town), plus she has baby S. to care for pretty much alone while her husband is consumed with the play, plus she will want to see me. Adding Dad to that and juggling the timing so he doesn't know I'm around....too much.
d. What might, Gentle Reader, seem to you the most obvious solution has come last because it is so ludicrous to any Daughter of My Dad: no, he would not understand. If only.
My whole nuclear family in one place is, well, nuclear. The train wreck that was our college graduations is making me cringe in mere anticipation

Any thoughts?? God, I hope he chooses another weekend.


veeandjay said...

Surely the hymen can't be that hard to er...break, or bypass - afterall, it happens all the time, right?

Tricky situation with your Dad. Despite the 'really, really wrong'ness of option a. that might be where a partial answer lies? If your mum is recovering, she may want to rest/sleep. If your Dad was prepared to be flexible with plans, you could see him for coffee or something, somewhere near your mum's house, at that point? (Presuming someone else could be there for your mum?) Apologies if this is a really, really stupid idea.
I guess another alternative would be just to let him be pissed off by it and leave him to get over it. After all, he does live 6 hours away from you!

Calliope said...

is there a way you could just explain to your dad that you are coming to town to BE with your Mother. You could also leave it open ended a bit as well- say if a moment arose where you could leave her side for a while...maybe you could see him (if you wanted)
I had a lap to look for endo and I was sore for a few days. My Mother had her gallbladder removed via lap & was back at work the next day.
Your Mom sounds like a tough cookie and I hope everything goes well.

Estelle said...

Um, your hymen can be broken easily. At home, if you're so inclined. It's likely almost dissolved itself by now, anyway. And, um, we're always told that a GYN can't tell if we're virgins, so... anyway.
You can so do an IUI with a hymen. WTF? It's a catheter. It's small. There is no reason it can't be done.

Moving on to mom-
Glad that she is having the surgery and feels like it is the best option for her. However, I doubt her recovery will be too arduous. My mom recently had a full hysterectomy the old fashioned way, and was okay to be on her own within a few days (not that my dad left her on her own! but he could have). Having it done lapro...lapora... the way she is doing it, her recovery should be short and sweet. No real reason not to leave to have lunch with your dad. Of course, that's dependent upon your comfort level. If you like your dad and want to see him, I'd just take a few hours and go see him. You could even leave Co with your mom if you don't want her to be alone. How soon after the surgery is he coming in?

And glad Co was still breathing. Breathing is very important.

Melody said...

Um, wow! Now I totally want to know if I still have a hymen. Maybe I will ask at my next IUI. But I'm with Estelle. Don't see why an IUI could not be done with the hymen intact. And if this doctor doesn't think she could do it, then I wouldn't trust her to know enough about IUIs to do one. I've had enough painful IUIs at the gyno's now that I wouldn't go back down that road. At the RE's office they just do hundreds of these things, and they know what they're doing there. My experience at the RE's has been completely different--virtually painless. It's over in a minute and no worse than getting a shot now.

I don't think option A is such a bad way to go. Your mom likely will need the rest anyway. Could you explain the situation to her and not to your dad? I hope she would understand you leaving for a couple of hours.

j said...

I originally read that as "lesbians at the GYM" and thought it would be a much hotter post.

How often do you get to see your dad otherwise? I mean, do you get to see him often? If that's a yes, i'd go with Cali's thoughts.

Also, I often poke at S when i think she's not breathing. She loves this. Really.

fostermama said...

Doesn't it work to just lay your hand on her back and hold really still so you can feel the movements to make sure she's breathing? I'm a worrier too...

It sounds like you're frustrated that your Dad wouldn't understand if you just said "not a good time" and that makes you feel more defensive about it being a not good time. And you don't especially want to see your dad. We go through similar things with fostermommy's dad, which have actually escalated recently, so I know how tough this can be. Up until the recent stuff, she's found the path of least trauma to be picking a meal time and meeting him in the restaurant and parting company afterwards. It's quick if not painless.

Your mom will be fine w/o you for brunch one morning, but if you're really worried you *could* go with the suggestion to leave Co with her while you go pay your dues with your dad.

I'm glad you're ruling out trying to put your sister in the middle of it. Yay for getting to see nephew!