Friday, October 27, 2006

Photo Friday: B is for Birthday

Today is mine.

This is me on (or within a few days of) my first birthday, out on a walk with my mom and my pull-toy doggie (the only one they let me have until my eleventh birthday).

I am now 32. Several of you have blogged about the emotional weight of turning 30. I wasn't so worried about turning 30 -- I've always felt old for my time, so it felt right to finally be such a solid age as 30. The year I turned 30 I got my first driver's license, got married, and got tenure at my job. I felt accomplished.

For me, 32 is the real deadline, because my mom was 32 when I was born. In fact, she had just turned 32 a few weeks before, so I have long been unable to fulfill the assumption I always made that I would have children at the same age as my mother.

So, I'm not feeling so psyched about this birthday. Another year down the drain. Crap.


Calliope said...

now wait just a minute- you have a full 12 months of being 32 to GET pregnant!

oh & HAPPY BIRTHDAY to a wonderful, beautiful, smart and loved woman!

Sara said...

Happy happy birthday to you!!! I agree with Calliope - you still have 12 months!

ms.bri said...

Happy Birthday! I'm with Cali. The deadline is not up. I gave up on 30 but it actually worked in the end. Well, "worked" might be too strong a word, but you know what I mean. Anyway, I know the deadline crap - it is crap, by the way - and hope that yours ends up moot very soon.

charlotte said...

Happy happy happy birthday! Birthdays and kid stuff is super hard. I hope it happens for you this year.

Sarah and BB said...

Happy Birthday!!

SandraMort said...

I understand feeling uptight about self imposed deadlines. My deadline to have a baby was the same age as my mother. Unfortunately, that's 22 years old. Needless to say, I had seven years of stressing about missing the deadling. Hopefully you'll only be stressing a few months. *hugs* and hoping baby dust finds you soon!

Gretch said...

happy belated birthday!

hope it was filled with all your favorite things :)

fostermama said...

I'd wanted to have my first kid at age 27. We did have our first foster kid when I was 28, but we're still without a perma-kid and I'm now 30. But, I wouldn't trade the path we took to get here for anything.

I really liked what P said: "Faith is what keeps us going between when something happens and when we learn why it happened."

And while I hear you on the years thing, because we've now been fostering for 2 full years without achieving the original goal and that has weighed on both of us at times, a year isn't really a lot in the scheme of things. Or at least, sometimes it can feel like a lot but it doesn't usually in the long run.

I hope you guys are successful at getting pregnant *while* you're 32!